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South Africa - Pretoria 076 340 3958 mxoza@me.com

Mxolisi Mashiloane's blog

Speaking Life Into Troubled Souls

Words for a healthy relationship.

    

  • My experience has taught me
    that we love people because of our 
    emotions  at that particular
    period and forget that once the emotions are gone we will be left with
    each other and life has to go on, and then what is next?
  • As you have read in my previous
    blog  that a relationship needs to
    have goals, once it has goals then the following words must be out of the
    vocabulary in your relationship as they will not make goals to be real and
    the relationship to breathe but only you will breathe as partners, stop using this words “me,
    I, yours, mine, yourself, you will do it alone, I will support you”

    starts using the following words “we are together in this challenge,
    we will solve it together, us, ours, etc “
    start using most of your
    sentences with the word”our” provided the goals of the
    relationship have been written down. If you don’t have written goals of
    your relationship the continue using your selfish words because you will
    not see, feel and enjoy the beauty of being in a relationship whereby you
    and your partner share one spirit of being together for a life time.
  • The reason our government invented in community of property after people got married is because before the marriage there was never a team work but singular and that is why you see so many imbalanced relationship because we don’t work on common goals before the marriage and after, it’s your goals and his or her goals so there is no team work there. A lot of fights in marriages revolve around the topic of money, ever asked yourself why? It is because before the marriage, the couple had no goals about the marriage life and how it’s going to be lived financially.
  • So to those not married yet prepare now getting used to be one with your partner and using the word “us” in your conversations,  remember early practice makes better, don’t wait until you are married to start planning for the marriage. Think future, plan ahead, stop saying I will cross that bridge when I get there, a soldier will never go to war without being prepared and armed fir the war so is planning your future together with your partner.
  • If I was given a chance to change the constitution of marriages my only condition for people before they can get married would be a sustainable financial plan and result of previous goals you both achieved before deciding that you are now ready to become husband and wife.
  • It really hurts me to see people rushing marriage only to suffer and live the life they don’t dream of, plan for your life in 10 years from now, don’t wait until you get there. Caution to ladies: Ladies a wedding day and ring is really a great thing to dream about but that is not an achievement. An achievement is when both you and your partner achieve your dreams and I cannot ignore the fact that money is important, financial planning in any relationship I believe should be the goal number1.
  • Why do you I say I believe financial planning should be goal number 1? Because only money can buy things that make you happy and for a couple to go out to watch a simple cheap movie, that costs money, for you to buy nice outfit or buy your partner a present it cost money, for you to eat in the house it costs money to buy grocery, for you to go and eat out it costs money, for you to buy the car you love it cost money, I can go on with list till next year but can you get my point that in a healthy relationship it is wise to also plan financially as a couple? Please note am not that saying happiness depends on money but money is important. Whoever said money can’t make you happy then try living your life for a month without money and then come back and tell me how does it feel.
  • Just a short advise on the money part, be open to each other about the topic of money and if you cannot trust your partner about the topic of money then why are you with them if you can trust them with your body? Every end of the month share responsibilities about your money and put aside how much will be for entertainment, etc. I will make a blog about fiances because am really good with personal finance too. “Lack of money is the root of all arguments in a relationship”. Am not saying don’t date someone who is unemployed but date someone with a plan.
  • In my language isiNdebele sithi “ligotjwa lisese manzi” meaning early practice is the best, you don’t become a husband or wife material once you are married but it starts now, your language, your cooperation with your partner will tell what kind of a person you are. Be responsible partners and I promise you, the bond between the two of you will be strong and do invite God on your journey as you plan for your life time goals. 

 

Have any Question or Comment?

8 comments on “Words for a healthy relationship.

Nomazwide Mashiloane

You have said a mouthful. It really is true, if money issues are not communicated early, the marriage becomes sour and loveless.

collen

That is very true man,already trying mine and i think everything u’ve said is true.keep it up man.

Hlengiwe Mabona-Lufu

Well said Mxo
“ligotjwa lisese
manzi”

Jabu

Enough said, “together we will get through this” love it.Team couple

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