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Mxolisi Mashiloane's blog

Speaking Life Into Troubled Souls

WHY DO YOU STILL HATE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?

We have all been to relationships that all of them started well and promising to be great for the rest of our lives, use your imagination and just go back to the day you met your ex partner and to the day you spent a night with him/her, it was nice right and you were both excited and promising each other the best future right? I know the feeling been there too.

WHEN YOU MET YOUR EX YOU FELT HE/SHE WAS YOUR BEST CHOICE WHICH MEANS YOU TOOK A RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR DECISION, as you read along now keep the word ‘responsibility’ in your mind.

You and your ex started having the 1st argument, it was a bit sour but coz love conquers all you managed to solve the argument with an understanding it is normal for people to argue, well it is normal I agree however relationships arguments most of them are stupid and less constructive coz we will argue about why I took so long to answer my phone and wrong accusations start right there which is the biggest sign that the relationship you are in is not healthy, the person you loved at 1st has changed and revealing true colors which means it is now time to review the decision you made about him/her being your best decision but nah you did not do that instead you hoped things will be okay and you are fully responsible for hoping things will be okay coz your ex probably never told you that or she/he did but still you believed the lie, you were hoping alone and maybe praying alone that he or changes and realizes how much you love him/her.

As the relationship continued hurting you and you kept on hoping, you then became responsible for hurting yourself by remaining inlove with someone who is no longer, I know it is not easy to take responsibility of saying you hurt yourself by hoping your ex will change their behavior, then the relationship came to an end you became even more bitter, saw your ex as a devil, like really a person you loved so much is now a devil? You bypassed common sense by allowing all the lies your ex told you by so doing you are responsible for the hurt you experienced so it is now time to accept that your ex was a bad decision you have made as we all do make bad decisions in life and as a responsible person you know that you do not have to go around hating and blaming other people for your bad decisions for example, taking a loan that you didn’t really need in the 1st place and then blame a friend or the bank sales person, tv ad or anyone who might have convinced you that a loan is good thing, by blaming it’s a sign of weakness and being afraid to own up the mess so is accepting that your ex boyfriend was your bad decisions and you have to take a responsibility for that action and then stop wishing him or her bad luck coz you are holding yourself back.

Honestly if you hate your ex girlfriend or boyfriend look at your life now you are not happy the way you should be coz you wishing another person bad things while you shared a bed with them and wish for the best. Take responsibility and forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made and no matter how bad your ex did from the bottom of your heart wish him/her the best in life coz if you don’t you are suffocating the current relationship and not only the relationship but yourself too coz you are carrying anger within you and anger is a poison that will surely affect your happiness now and again, as long as you wish your ex bad things you are also wishing yourself bad things, you shared good times and bad times but why holding on only to the bad times?

Look at nature if you want to learn life principles, there are times whereby the trees lose all their green leaves and the flowers lose all those nice bright colors and look like they will never be back on track again but come summer all the trees become green again and nature will not be bringing us the coldness we experience in winter coz it understands that time has passed. Let your life move forward by 1st forgiving yourself for staying in a relationship that was hurting you and take a full responsibility that you did know when to end the relationship but kept on hoping for the best and you hurt yourself even more. Your ex was your bad decisions take that responsibility and wish him or her the best in life and trust me you will start experiencing inner happiness and stop talking bad about him or her coz you had both times the good and the bad so if you are going to talk bad about your ex make sure to mention the good times too coz it takes too much energy to wish your ex bad things, you do not even feel good inside when you say those bad things.

Life is 100% responsibility, if you truly want inner peace in your life you will stop wishing anyone bad things in life, your ex or not it doesn’t matter it’s not like you didn’t contribute to the relationship failing hence you must take full responsibility. If you feel am talking rubbish it is because you are still bitter and you are not ready to grow up and understand that inner happiness comes from being 100% responsible about all your actions, carry on hating and you will see your life will have a very slow progress and what you just read will always ring in your mind.

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