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Mxolisi Mashiloane's blog

Speaking Life Into Troubled Souls

What is a Relationship and Does it have a life of its own?

  • For the purpose of the topic I am talking about  a relationship between a man and a woman, a relationship
    is a state of connectedness between people(especially an emotional
  • Does a relationship have a
    life of its own? Yes it does have and the sad news is that many relationships
    are dead hence we find ourselves  changing partners now and again without even understanding why are we doing all that. What
    we normally do we fall in love for whatever reasons that may be right at that particular moment without an understanding off what is a relationship exactly and then we only focus on each other
    individually, going out, making each other happy and spoil each other
    which is 100% correct and that is how a healthy relationship must be like
    but now we forget that we have this car called relationship that need
    drivers that will take it to a predetermined destination.
  • As couples we don’t sit down
    and talk about the relationship itself in terms of what can bind us more,
    have common goals that we need to work on as a couple, teaming up on those goals, have an action plan on how to execute them. We all want to be happy right?
  • So as couples in a
    relationship this is the biggest question we need to ask each other “What will make both of us happy?” That’s goal number 1 and we
    supposed to write it down but we don’t, we think our minds have notes keepers but no we are wrong our minds forget most of the times and that’s how
    we fail and then later in the relationship one starts thinking I have wrong partner but only to find that you were in a
    relationship that had no direction. It all starts with you as long as you are not right forget about the right partner. Have goals, write them down and visualize them.
  • Goal number 2 should be how
    are we going to achieve that state of happiness that we both want and all
    those “wants” and “needs” that will make us happy And
    that should be written down like a policy of a company because now the
    relationship has a life and goals that both as couples we need to achieve
    but we don’t do that, some of you as you are reading this you think am not
    making sense well I challenge you to have those relationship goals down on a piece of paper, if your
    partner is stubborn please have him or her to read this post as am
    challenging both of you to start having goals about your relationship that will bind you together. Working together as couples on a common goal and share responsibilities to achieve that goal or goals increases the bond, the love, the friendship and the communication in the relationship.
  • Currently just ask yourself
    besides that you love him or her or having a baby(if you do have a baby) with your partner what is binding the two of you to be together? Meaning as a couple what goals are you working on that require both you to
    deliver results, share some responsibilities and work as a team to make them real? Chances are there is nothing
    you are just in love with him or her because he or she is a nice person and that he or she charming, how many times have you been charmed? Did it ever work out as you hoped? The answer is No to many, lucky you if you are one of those who got charmed 1st time and you are still with your 1st lover but don’t get me wrong am not saying don’t be charmed but all am saying don’t let the looks or a person deceive or the way they speak.
    Sad truth and harsh being nice doesn’t mean you can have a long lasting
    relationship ask me am very nice and I have proved that, to keep a
    relationship it takes more than being nice, more than loving, more than
    being beautiful, more than being educated but your mind and having goals
    for the relationship and dedicated to make them a reality, now that is real challenge and it’s totally not going to be easy but it is going to give your relationship a value and meaning.
  • Am sorry to say this and am
    not saying you dump your partner after reading this
    . If your partner
    doesn’t want to take this challenge of writing goals about your
    relationship and working to achieve them as a team, am sorry to tell you
    this that person is not serious about you. You just pushing time till
    further notice. It’s your life you live once and better make sure you know
    who must be your life time partner and how must he or she be like or else you will
    be like some of the people who currently wish they can get out of their
    current relationships but they just don’t know how. Do introspection my
    brother, my sister.
  • A relationship without responsibilities that demand both of you as partners to work together is a just a relationship for fun and hopes that you make it far. Again I repeat you will never know who is a right person to be your life time partner as long as you are not right to yourself. Sit with yourself down, have that inner conversation with yourself and ask yourself this questions “who am I”, ” Do I love myself enough to be happy myself or my happiness depends on my partner?”, “Am I even ready to have a life time partner in my life or am still fooling around just to push time at the expense of my body?” You better write those answers down because they will help you to know who can be in your life as your partner.

Have any Question or Comment?

13 comments on “What is a Relationship and Does it have a life of its own?


Great topic. Will comment later.


Nice one brother very true and inspiring. It all begins with me.


Wow!!!! inspirational


Heard you loud and clear choma….though I am not there yet


Quite and interesting read Mr Mashiloane… love this blog


i have heard u loud nd clear i hav answers to my problm now as i was thinking wher am i heading to with this 2 guys but today i hav found a solution God Bless u Mr Mashiloane


U’ve open mi eyes,we still lucky to be close to people like u.


Wow very inspiring I tell you. U just opened my eyes buddy. Things are definitely going to change from now on


yes its true what ur saying there what I wana know how does it link with my status its nice to see ppl find love… cz here ur writing about the inside of the relationship n how to maintain or keep it going n must agree its the best n it works for my relationship have been doing it n still doing it. great piece dou


coudnt agree more

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