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Mxolisi Mashiloane's blog

Speaking Life Into Troubled Souls

Is Being a good person for a relationship  good enough? No

 

  • You may have a good heart, be
    loving, caring and understanding but for a relationship to actually work
    out successfully it takes more than being good, loving understanding and
    caring.
  • A relationship is a full time
    job and has to be respected but here is the unfortunate part, most
    relationships are dead it’s only the couples who are alive. For a
    relationship to work and for you to know what kind of a person you can be
    in a relationship with there has to be a preliminary assessment of the
    person you say you love, I know you already want to argue but my question
    is how many people have you been into relationships with and you have told
    all of them you love them and there were times all of them were good up
    until something bad happened and they were no longer good.
  • The preliminary assessment of
    a relationship it starts with you, you need to assess yourself first
    because when you decide to love someone to be part of your life we mostly pray
    and hope that they stay with us for good but it normally  takes more than 2 or 3 partners for that
    to happen, ever asked yourself why? I have discovered we fall in love
    without knowing who we are, our own goals about life and if we do know who we are and our goals you will find that most of the time are not written down and that is the beginning of all
    challenges to come in a relationship. Asses yourself by sitting down and ask yourself who are you actually and what do you want to achieve out of this life in 5-10 years, write those goal down.
    Life is about having goals and working to achieve them.
  • Your next step after you have
    written down your goals is to know who can be part of your life then,
    please don’t think with your emotions because they have led you to love
    wrong people already unless you are in your 1st ever intimate
    relationship. Let me make an example, if you want to go on a trip to
    Durban you will obviously plan your trip with someone who is also
    interested in going to durban with you not someone who is going to Cape Town so is
    the goal of your life and relationship, you need to share your life goals
    with someone who has similar goals so that they will be goals of the
    relationship and then you can work on them together and that will bind you
    and increase the bond between the two of you.
  • We often hijack people who
    are going to Cape Town while we are going to Durban just because they look
    nice, they have a good heart, caring, loving and understanding, yes they
    are my dear friend but they are not going your direction and that is where
    most relationships fail in the middle while this could have been solved in
    the beginning.
  • It’s never to late to asses
    your current relationship and find out if you and your partner are going
    to the same destination or sharing same goals about life, this is how you
    are going to asses you current relationship and this is even great for
    those not in relationships yet.
  • Take 3 papers give one to
    your partner, write your names on two papers and the third paper write it
    our relationship goals and then both of you write your goals down and for
    those in a relationship already merge them into the relationship goals and
    then see how you can work them out, from there have an action plan, time
    for those goals to be achieved and there must be results as that will now
    bind you as partners to work on bringing your relationship into life.
    Again once you now share the goals stop being singular in the
    relationship, stop using this words “me, I, yours, mine,
    you”
    instead use “us, we, ours” remember you are now a
    team, if you can’t use such words it’s either you are not ready for a
    relationship or you are with the wrong person in your life.
  • To those not yet in
    relationship your case is the simplest don’t settle for less that is rule
    number 1, rule number 2 do not think with your emotions. Before you can
    decide to be in relationship with the person who charmed you, have the
    three papers and complete same process as written above and if your goals
    cannot be merged please don’t hijack someone who is going to Cape Town to
    go to Durban with you, you will regret and you will think they are bad
    people later on. Be specific and stick to your goals. Now you will see
    things will change it’s not going to be easy anymore to get a partner
    because people don’t want to think and commit to what will be a life time
    achievement to both parties. 

 

Please do come back and tell me of the improvements in your relationship through taking my advises. Don’t forget Financial planning should be a goal number 1 for any relationship. 

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Have any Question or Comment?

16 comments on “Is Being a good person for a relationship  good enough? No

Tracy

No matter how much you can love your partner never ever do evrything for her just because uthi u being romantic or ugcwele ngothando….You will be broke n not happy coz you can never satisfy a lady when it come to material things

Nothing beats me than see a couple who works hand in hand with each other and building a future for their relationship

Ladies staying home just because He pays the bills for you aint a turn on to me#indoda gets tired#

Wake up and stand up for your self if you still have that mentality#goodmorning#

Thank You Tracy this is very powerful

Thabisile

I agree with this message ,it is true that sometimes we fall in love for wrong reasons but now I am happy where I am brother, and I thank God for that

that is good to hear, I wish you all the best

Pulane

Thanks choma. I want another blog…… #waiting

Lindiwe

Problem with some relationships there is no communication, some couples are not good in communicating, so it some how get difficult to even know what the other partners dreams or goals are.

I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous
blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

Thank you, this means a lot to me, am not yet famous

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