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South Africa - Pretoria 076 340 3958 mxoza@me.com

Mxolisi Mashiloane's blog

Speaking Life Into Troubled Souls

HOW TO HEAL AFTER BEING HURT IN A RELATIONSHIP AND TO MOVE ON AND BELEIVE IN LOVE AGAIN. THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS CAN BE VERY HELPFUL.

1. What is/was my definition of love?
2. What was more important in the relationship? Sex, love or Money?
3. What value did it add in my life?
4. How did I personally contribute into losing the person I really loved so much?
5. What have I learned from the relationship?
6. Besides having sex, cuddling, dining out, daily communication and respecting one another and all that, what were the goals of our relationship that were supposed to keep us together and remind us of the mission we have in this life?
7. How was the foundation of the relationship, was I a side chick/guy the promoted to be main? If so then you lose a person the way you got them.
8. Did I lose it because of my ego?
9. Did I lose because of my insecurities and not knowing how to control my emotions?
10. What were our fights about most of the time?
11. Did we have the same vision about life?
12. We were growing at together at a same pace or we never worked together as a couple to grow as couple in love, spiritually, emotionally and financially?
13. Was Money the main concern of the relationship? If so what will you do better in your next relationship so that money is not a problem.
14. Do I love coz of how I feel or I want to be loved, given attention to but i am not at loving back?
15. Do or did I have self love?
16. Was I having expectations that he or she was not able to meet? If so then I was wrong coz expectations only exist in my mind.
17. Did my happiness depend on me or on what my partner did for me? If you depended on him or her for happiness then you have been hurting yourself, how can you want to be made happy while you can’t make yourself happy?
18. Was I able to date myself while in the relationship so that we can have a better dating game my partner and I?
19. Did we spend most of our time on things that helped us build our future or we attended more entertainment areas(parties, taverns, clubs, etc.) than we went to life coaching events(it could be church, motivational talk or spending time with like minded people who dream of a good life and are working towards it)?

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